The New Zealand Jingle Bells (To the tune of...Jingle Bells)

Dashing through the fields,
of teams from far and wide,
their ruck balls we steal,
we laugh and split our sides,
Opponents in a spin,
under floodlights bright,
Oh What fun it is to sing,
Our All Blacks song tonight,

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way,
Oh, what fun Dan Carter has,
To blow all sides away,
Oh, Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way,
When will Jerry Collins learn,
The bog's not far away,

A Test or two ago,
New Zealand took on Wales,
who blocked our Haka show,
and so we turned them pale,
With a double o'er the French,
and England fully beat,
The guys came off the bench,
and made the Cardiff win so sweet,

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way,
Oh, what fun Graham Henry has,
To name a new team each day,
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way,
There's no more awards to win,
We took them all away,

Shaun Perry's rise to fame (To the tune of Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer)

Perry, the balding welder,
had a very shiny head, .
And if you ever saw him,
you would see hair hanging from a thread.

All of the other welders,
used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Perry,
join in any welding games.

One foggy Christmas Eve,
Richard Hill came to say:
"Perry with your head so bright,
Guide my Bristol maul today"

Then all the welders loved him,  
as they shouted out with glee,
"Perry the balding welder,
you'll go down in history!"

An ode to New Zealand's dominance of 2006 (To the tune of We Wish You a Merry Christmas)

We wish you a merry thrashing,
We wish you a merry thrashing,  
We wish you a merry thrashing and a happy World Cup.
Good tries we will bring, from prop to left wing;
We wish you a merry thrashing and a happy World Cup.

Oh, bring us another record,  
Oh, bring us another record,
Oh, bring us another record and the try of the year

We won't stop until November,  
We won't stop until November,  
We won't stop until November, when all Paris will cheer.

We wish you a merry thrashing,
We wish you a merry thrashing,
We wish you a merry thrashing and a happy World Cup. 

The Christmas party (to the tune of O Come All Ye Faithful)

O Come All Ye Ruggers,
Bruised and broke and drunken,
O come ye, O come ye to our clubhouse bar.
Drink and be merry, eat the lukewarm buffet,
O join the Christmas party,
O join the Christmas party,
O join the Christmas party,
Come one and all.

O Sing all ye forwards,
Sing in your disharm'ny,
Sing to the bar staff,
Who pour you your beers,
Give to our Chairman glory in the highest,
His card's behind the bar,
His card's behind the bar,
His card's behind the bar,
But he doesn't know.

All Hail! Backs, we greet thee,
Clean and shorn and coiffured,
O Backs! All year long you lived off others' work,
Thank now your forwards, whose flesh is now appearing,
Quick, before the food's gone,
Quick, before the food's gone,
Quick, before the food's gone,
Down your beers!

The English country Boxing Day rugby match (to the tune of Silent Night)

Thunderous scrums, fumbling backs,
Watchers wearing plastic macs,
Round the paddock so muddy and bald,
"Come on Old Rotts" the spectators they called,
Game is tied at 3 each,
Game is tied at 3 each.

Rumbling mauls, uncertain rucks,
Half-backs look for the ball in the muck,
Rain beats down from heaven afar,
Ball emerges! Hallelujah!
One more throw of the dice,
One more throw of the dice,

A hopeful miss-pass, a clumsy switch,
Winger's ball, at the end of the pitch,
Three more steps for the winning try,
He slips and falls, and gets mud in his eye,
Referee blows for full-time,
Referee blows for full-time.

Reckon you could add a verse or two? All contributions welcome!

By Dave Morris and Richard Anderson